Manners Maketh Man
27 July 2008
I write this lying by the rooftop pool at the historic Grand Bretagne hotel, overlooking the Acropolis, in Athens… with the Spice Girls ’shake it to the left’ unfortunately blasting from the unsubtle speakers positioned in the surrounding flower beds.
My fellow guests, at what was once the most prominent meeting place in Greece for the Athenian elite, comprise, with the exception of a small team from Vogue here on a photo shoot and an elderly Arabian couple, of herds of Americans who have just piled out of a colossal floating craft of steel they call a ‘cruise-boat’. In exchange for vast sums these cruisers have been promised, I am told, ‘nothing but luxury’ as they ’sail’ (I restrained from pointing out that charging around on a 125 metre ship with 500 cabins does not constitute sailing) around the Greek Islands. Once ashore they takeover the major cultural attractions and make the city their own in a manner not too dissimilar as Emperor Hadrian had done almost 2,000 years earlier. Though sadly what they leave behind is somewhat different.
My check-in to the hotel took longer than I would have thought. The large string-vest wearing man ahead of me was in the process of berating a pretty young Greek receptionist. I was curious as to what could have initiated such undignified rage from the man. “You have ruined my holiday you stupid girl…” he bellowed with his, also vest-wearing, gum-chewing wife adding the odd expletive from behind him. The reason for all this fury was the man had forgotten his “Starwood hotel membership card” and therefore could not collect his club points without sending off the receipt to head office accompanied with his card. At what stage in his life did he assume that this sort of behaviour was acceptable? Sadly, I suspect we all know the answer…When I finally got to the counter to check-in myself the poor girl was close to tears; perhaps wrongly but I ignored the fact she gave me a room facing the ancient Olympic stadium rather than Acropolis as I had asked for.
Manners seem to be becoming something of historic themselves as sadly, these unjustified fits of rage are now increasingly common and its not just from string vest-wearing Americans. In the last week we have seen Christian Bale arrested for a fit of violent rage against his mother and sister at London’s swanky Dorchester hotel and Westminster educated Times restaurant critic, Giles Coren, berate the young Times Sub-Editors for removing an ‘A’ from his final sentence in last weeks review. ‘I have never ended on an unstressed syllable in my life, Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” The leaked email read. Whilst Mr Coren had a point in his bereavement, as the removal of the ‘a’ did change the context of the sentence, he lost all credibility to his case in the opening line of his email.
‘Manners Maketh Man’ My father drilled into my head since I could crawl. When I forgot them I was put on his lap and smacked. I was made to write a thank you letter for every gift I ever received, including once to my father for the pink Polly-Pocket bicycle he bought me for my 11th birthday.
It is impossible to underestimate the importance of manners. They define the character of a man and are, unquestionably, the only truly reliable character reference. This is because there is no room for error. One slip, yes just one, reveals a fraud. Mr Coren reminds the sub-editor in his email that he has written over 350 pieces for the times over the last 15years. Many of these are very entertaining and extremely well written. Unfortunately for him, I suspect from now on he will be remembered for one thing, and it won’t be his restaurant reviews.
- Henry Sands
To read Giles Coren’s full email click here.
.
FQR’s Top Ten Manners:
1. Too often overlooked but always remember a simple “Please” and “Thank you”. It really does make such a difference.
2. Keep your voice down in public places. Others shouldn’t be subjected to unnecessary noise. This includes loud ring tones and ipods.
3. Treat women well and show them respect at all times. Equally, don’t boast of conquests.
4. If someone has provided a good service, let them know. If they have made an error, be polite and maintain a relaxed tone. Becoming irate, especially towards waiters, is inexcusable.
5. Be generous and show gratitude. It will make you a far happier person.
6. Be punctual. If you make an arrangement, stick to it.
7. Hats are for outdoors. Remove them when you enter a building.
8. Others don’t want to see your food. Keep your mouth closed when you chew.
9. A hand-written thank you letter goes a long way.
10. Make an effort and dress to the occasion.
August 29th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I appreciate it, too when people say “Thank you”, but I prefer “Thanks you awkward cunt!” In addition to gratitude, it shows that they’ve taken time to get to know me. Human relationships are what really make a difference in my life.
June 19th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Manners maketh man – and so does grammar – Really,Mr Sands! (and I quote)
“Once ashore they takeover” – take over (I assume)
“and make the city their own in a manner not too dissimilar as Emperor Hadrian had done almost 2,000 years earlier. ” – and make the city their own in a manner not too dissimilar to that with which Emperor Hadrian invaded almost 2,000 years earlier. (although the construction remains precarious).
Just keeping you on your toes. I must say that since stumbling on the estimable Mr Finch and yourselves via Vanity Fair (’Fortune’s Children’) and Blip.tv visits to your website are arising more and more frequently for me.
Teaser for Mr F and yourself – I often hark back to the halcyon days of CAR Magazine – George Bishop, Henry Manney III, LJK Setright, Stirling Moss. Wonderful prose – and excellent storeis of high living from Bishop. Ring any bells?
Bon Weekend,
Paul Reichel