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On the Casting Couch

Oh, whoa whoa whoa!
The ho ho ho,
Of last Xmas

The bitter snow,
The frost,
All that money lost
In market compost!
I dream of a farm,
Somewhere warm,
With olive groves,
And tomato bread
with garlic cloves.

A hacienda tickled in sea breeze,
The afternoon under shaded trees.

I walk through terraces of vines,
Ancient earth tilled
under clear blue skies
By the fingers of sleeping Gods,
And dancing Señoritas.

Instead.
Back in the real world to dread…
Fickle politicians
And plebs.

Imperfections.
And infections.
A cough like an ape,
and work too late.

Gentlemen!
Fight back
Against the inevitable heart attack!
Less port and oyster,
Slow gin and bitter.

Shoot and fish,
Climb the Hindu Kish
And ride across Spain;
Ignore the rain.

Pass me my pick, George.
There are mountains to climb –
Not for us to whine.

They smile and walk on
towards the mist.

– Unknown Sherpa



George Ingle-Finch
George Ingle-Finch


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Finch on the Pinch

by Charles Finch
10 December 2008

Going up in smokeAs a devotee of the finer things in life, Charles Finch knows that cash does not equal cachet – and sets out his tips for making the best of the current crisis

Finch’s Quarterly exists for those who are not embarrassed to celebrate life’s finer things – not in a “must have money to do so” sort of way but more in a wistful, nostalgic yearning for a time when things moved a little less quickly and automobiles smelled of leather. None of us who started FQR ever meant it to be elitist, exclusive or about money. In fact, none of us behind it have any money, as any of our contributors will doubtless tell you.

It used to be that British people didn’t really talk about money, not in public at least. If they had recently made heaps of the stuff, they tried not to show it for fear of attracting unwanted attention or even ridicule.

In short, British gentlemen learned to disguise their wealth if they had it, and if they didn’t they would keep mum about their circumstances, thus maintaining some true British stiff upper lip whilst quietly waiting for the triumph of socialism. Better still, some – such as politicians – found brilliant capers to make ends meet and worked the bare minimum whilst living to the maximum a gentleman might hope for. Membership to a fine club. An occasional shoot at a wealthy friend’s estate or a freebie weekend on a Greek tycoon’s yacht. Quite a few of my friends lived through the Eighties and Nineties like this until either they were left behind by the yuppie movement or simply got bored of long lunches and drunken nights at Annabel’s.

The two Great Wars of the last century were, of course, the sobering class “equalisers” for us Brits, the trenches quite understandably fostering political revolution and mass revulsion for the officer class. But money was still not the focus of British society, even after the hardships of rationing and the horrors of the Blitz. Rather than whining about how much they had in the bank or how to get more, our parents were made of stronger stuff – because mostly they didn’t have money anyway. Hardship focuses the mind on the most basic needs and hones a talent for survival in us that those we have chosen for our “Maverick” list have in spades.

Right up until the Nineties inspiring political ideas held sway at top universities, while the public imagination was held captive by scientific breakthroughs in medicine, space and discovery. Social equality was the theme of debate and this was reflected, of course, in demonstrations and strikes but also in fashion, film and, more informally, drugs. Participants – including my parents – in what seemed like a great social experiment, held forth at dinner tables in rose-coloured specs and bell bottoms whilst navel gazing and having a marvellously sexy time.

In recent times we all recognise that money and our obsession with it has dominated Western culture with recent devastating results. Having money meant more than charm, education, brains or talent. Cash became the great equaliser in all walks of life, from film-making to sailing. The hit movie was more important than the good movie, and the big boat that cost more was more talked of than the yacht with the great line. If you were loaded you were invited to the party because of the numbers at the end of your bank statement. The bloke who just invented a cure for cancer was bounced from the A-list for the blonde with the big tits from Bratislava married to the internet millionaire from Baku with the black chopper. This would be fine if the modern rich didn’t insist on “partying” together. I remember in my teens being invited to one of Adnan Khashoggi’s parties in the South of France where I expected hordes of scantily clad hookers and buckets of gold coins and hashish to be available. Unlike today’s rich partying together, Adnan’s was a fabulous mix of princes, crooks, artists and hangers-on – and people actually had wild fun. When was the last time anyone actually did something outrageous at a glamorous party?

All of this has a lot to do with why I convinced Old Nick Foulkes and Tristram Fetherstonhaugh to start Finch’s Quarterly, which, I hope, is a celebration of the finer things in life which money alone can’t buy.

Mariano Rubinacci would never be able to make enough suits in the way he wants to become a billionaire. The same goes for Anderson & Sheppard and for Budd. These firms and the products of their small businesses are about artisan work and the quest for perfection. They approach their work with humility and sell to us, the less humble. If money is a by-product, then so be it.

– Charles Finch

Austerity Finch

Here are a few ways to survive the financial crisis and return to a simpler but more pleasing life:

BRING BACK THE DINNER PARTY Start at 8pm, out by 11pm, unless it’s toss-the-keys or drop-acid time, which, in these times, is unlikely even for the most ambitious hosts. If the household budget has vanished, fry a large omelette for eight with a sweet balsamic interior and chopped tomatoes and basil.

TRAVEL BY TRAIN Pack a hamper of the finest from the larder at home and travel by train. We suggest you create your own beautiful bespoke picnic basket from an old travelling case and fill with your old silver. If things get tougher on the road you can always hawk the lot at Paddington.
Get a train to Aix direct or even to Rome, where we can recommend special weekend rates at the Eden or the Locarno or even the Residenza di Ripetta.
Note: as trains are usually filthy, we advise you to wear gloves at all times!

RESTAURANTS Avoid unless they have owners who actually have faces and greet their customers. It could go a little too far. I remember Peter Langan biting a girlfriend of mine on the ankle as he scurried around under our table on all fours. Riva (Andrea)
The River Café (Ruth and Rose) The Wolseley (Jeremy and Chris)
Caprice (Jesus, the manager, is like an owner)
Waverly New York (Graydon)
Mr Chow (Michael)
Note: offering your skills, negotiate for your supper like the old Impressionists used to do. The only thing is you’d better be handy with a paintbrush… Jeremy King doesn’t like outstanding bills.

OTHER OPINION Drive to your skiing destination, like the French. Skiing is expensive. That’s all we can advise – although skiing in your shooting gear is perfectly acceptable and rather chic.
Note: drive a nice comfy car.

SWAP HOUSES Swap your London house with a pal who has a farm in Mozambique.

SWAP WIVES With any one of Peter Beard’s.

SWAP VINTAGE CLOTHES
Have swap parties or sell off all that good stuff you have in the closet. I have a spare mile of cashmere.
N.B: make sure you clean your clothes first.



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