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TO TELL THE TRUTH
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On the Casting Couch

Movie stars and moguls
And grilled sardines,
Pistou potage –
And a good massage

And paparazzi and Mr Perd
And Pigozzi and la dorade,
Swim fast, swim slow,
The suntan glows

Far from gloomy grey
London and Paris in May.
Asparagus in vinaigrette
And fresh baguette.

How this old dog smiles
At Cannes’ follies –
Bare-breasted, and mad,
And ever so bad.

La Côte d’Azur.
Still a pleasure,
Still a whore –
But never a bloody bore.

Poor some haute down me,
Plaster me in rouille!
Let the lights dim
And the Festival begin.

We go on, us gypsies,
Treading the heads of pygmies!

– Unknown Sherpa




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Summer Quarter


Move your mouse over the stars to find out what when and where this summer.

.

1
Finch’s Quarterly
Review launch party,
The Ritz, W1, July
Well, really, need we say more?


.

2
Elba Cup, Isola d’Elba, 7 July
Sailors of a Napoleonic disposition exile themselves to the Tuscan Archipelago and get some practice for the America’s Cup. www.elba-online.com

.

3
The Albion Summer Party, Chelsea Embankment, SW3, 10 July
A gaggle of gabby gallerists gathers on the banks of the Thames. Mwuh, mwuh!

.

4
Goodwood Festival of Speed, 11–13 July
Cars and stars collide (figuratively speaking) at the world’s grandest celebration of motoring.


.

5
Verbier Festival, 18 July–
3 August
Switzerland’s premier classical-music festival tunes up on the immaculate shores of Lake Geneva. Hotel: Le Chalet d’Adrien.

.

6
Cartier International Polo, Windsor, 27 July The Queen regularly makes the short journey from Windsor to the Royal Box to watch a few chukkas. See you there, ma’am www.guardspoloclub.com.

.

7
Feast of the Throne, Morocco, July 30
Raise a glass of mint tea to His Majesty King Mohammed VI on the anniversary of his accession to the throne.


.

8
Fawaz Gruosi’s birthday dinner, Cervo Hotel, 8 August
A feast fit for a jewellery legend–which also happens to coincide with a new Grisogono exhibition.


.

9
Gloria Estefan at the Hotel Puente Romano, Marbella, 24 August
Put on your dancing shoes, because the rhythm is gonna get you when the Queen of Latin Pop hits the Costa del Soul.


.

10
Cesanese Wine Feast, Olevano Romano, 24–30 August A weeklong celebration of the Continent’s finest wines. One word of advice: Alka-Seltzer.


.

11
Venice Film Festival, 27 August–6 September
The world’s longest-running film festival, now in its 65th year, rolls on.
www.labiennale.org


.

12
World Art Masters,
St Moritz, 29 August–7 September
The hills are alive with fine art, classical music, galas, dinners and parties.
Stay at Badrutts Palace.


.

13
The Homes of Alfred Dunhill, Bourdon House, W1, 6 September
Doors open at the latest addition to Dunhill’s members’-club-meets-boutique chain.


.

14
De Grisogono & Londino Transnational Automobile Tour, London to Portofino, 10–14 September Part treasure hunt, part brain-teaser, part rally… 100 percent fun.


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