The Tour de France has had its reputation as the world’s most challenging endurance event severely damaged over recent doping scandals of the last few years. It has been said ‘The Tour’ is near impossible to complete without the help of supplements. Some are legal, some are not. We sent the clean cut cycling enthusiasts – The Conrad Brothers – off to take part in a one off stage to see how hard it really was. They may not have won the race but they demonstrated true British grit and competed cleanly, if not competitively. Andrew Conrad tells us how they got on.

It was 7:00 am when we arrived at the start line along with 7,500 of Europe’s top amateur cyclists. We had been promised sunshine. What we got was temperatures of 8C and rain. Lots of rain. We headed off with the peleton but, after two medium climbs, we had slipped towards the rear despite, what we thought, was a healthy average speed.

When we arrived in Lourdes we were faced with our first serious challenge, the first of two feed stations. The Europeans sped on by but the Conrads could not say no to a buffet. We tucked into sandwiches, cake and banana, refilled our bottles and were unaware of the time until we saw the unthinkable – the sweeper truck.

Had we spent too long eating or had we simply been going slower than we thought? We were told that the race was officially over and were stripped of our timing devices and bib numbers after only 70 km. We hadn’t trained for the past six months for it to be over so soon. We had come to finish the 169 km including the 17 km climb up the legendary Col de Tourmalet which was waiting, in the fog, 32 km away.

We were forced to hand over our timers, but they couldn’t take away our freedom of the road and they
certainly couldn’t take away our spirit. We would not be beaten. Despite them re-opening the roads to traffic and taking down the signposts along the route, we continued. It got colder and wetter, but we rode on.

We reached the Tourmalet.  I had a puncture but we reached the final feed station 3km from the top. We scavenged a few scraps and then, to the startled looks of the few remaining organisers, we soldiered on to the summit to complete one of the most feared climbs in cycling – and the finest piece of apple tart we had ever tasted!

We descended at almost 40mph, hairpin upon hairpin…only 40 km to go. Cold and wet we ploughed on and prepared our minds for the final 16km, the Hautacam – a steep climb at an average of 8.6%. A short way up, after 155 km, my cleat snapped off my shoe. After 10½ hours, my ride was over.

Somehow, Matthew struggled to the top and after some 13 hours, 6 gels, 2 energy bars, 4 ham sandwiches, two espressos, 10 litres of water and that apple tart, he arrived in last place. Unsurprisingly the other riders and organisers were long gone. He was greeted by a barren wasteland and some tourists enjoying the fog.

It’s not officially logged, we don’t have a certificate and as Matthew’s mobile had died there isn’t even have a photo at the top of Hautacam…but one of us did it and next year we will both be back for more.

Andrew Conrad is the Managing Director of Betty, a television production company (www.betty.co.uk)
Matthew Conrad runs Heddon Street Partners, a luxury investment business.