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On the Casting Couch

Oh, whoa whoa whoa!
The ho ho ho,
Of last Xmas

The bitter snow,
The frost,
All that money lost
In market compost!
I dream of a farm,
Somewhere warm,
With olive groves,
And tomato bread
with garlic cloves.

A hacienda tickled in sea breeze,
The afternoon under shaded trees.

I walk through terraces of vines,
Ancient earth tilled
under clear blue skies
By the fingers of sleeping Gods,
And dancing Señoritas.

Instead.
Back in the real world to dread…
Fickle politicians
And plebs.

Imperfections.
And infections.
A cough like an ape,
and work too late.

Gentlemen!
Fight back
Against the inevitable heart attack!
Less port and oyster,
Slow gin and bitter.

Shoot and fish,
Climb the Hindu Kish
And ride across Spain;
Ignore the rain.

Pass me my pick, George.
There are mountains to climb –
Not for us to whine.

They smile and walk on
towards the mist.

– Unknown Sherpa




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On the Casting Couch – Lucy Punch


lucy-punch

Felicity Harrison finds out why the smart and gorgeous actress Lucy Punch is back in London and sees at first hand why it’s so easy to get Punch drunk

portrait by Fetherstonhaugh

So, you have moved from London to LA. What do you like about LA life?

Well, the sun shines there, which you can’t complain about. It’s an easy life, and you have a lot more space. Plus I have a cool group of friends there now, finally. It takes a while to meet people but, through work, I’ve become friends with a bunch of writers, producers and actors.

How are you enjoying being back in London to film Woody Allen’s latest project?

I love it! I’m staying in Mayfair so I’m delighted.

Can you spill the beans on what goes on in one of your latest projects, The Good Old Fashioned Orgy?

It’s about a group of 30 friends who throw a July 4th party every year. When the house where the party is held is about to be sold, they decide to have an orgy as the ultimate send-off. I’m playing a square character who has a baby and doesn’t take part in the orgy.

A bit boring?

Yes, but I was really happy when I saw the rest of the cast worrying about dieting and getting a tan.

As a tall, blonde female, do you find you get typecast in LA?

I get a lot of variety. More so than in London, where I was often cast as the snooty bitch. The role Woody has me in is great and later this year I’m in a film with Steve Carell and Paul Rudd, which I’m really excited about. A remake of Le Dîner de Cons, it’s directed by Jay Roach, an amazing comedy director.

Who are some of the directors you aspire to work with?

There are so many: Tim Burton; David Lynch; Paul Thomas Anderson; Joel and Ethan Coen. I like people with a unique vision who put an imaginative, creative stamp on their work. In London I’d like to work with Shane Meadows and Lynne Ramsay.

Who would be your dream on-screen romance with?

My absolute dream person – and he hasn’t done a film for a while, so here’s an invitation to bring him back – is Gene Wilder. I’m obsessed with him. I grew up watching all his movies. He’s a brilliant actor and comedian. He’s not just funny – his characters are real and he is always honest, true and utterly charming. I adore him. I’d also like to play opposite Benicio Del Toro. I’ll have an off-set romance with Benicio and I’m already madly in love with Gene, so I’ll marry him.

So what do you look for in a man?

Someone I’d date must be kind, funny, adventurous – the usual stuff. If I’m going to be superficial: broad shoulders with that slightly evil kiss-you-or-kill-you look in their eyes.

What do you think makes women dynamic on screen?

The women I admire are actresses rather than movie stars and who play a range of parts. Ninety per cent of very successful women in this business are drop-dead gorgeous. It’s not the same for men. I find it boring to watch people who are self-conscious. Intelligence translates on screen. I look for that, as well as real charisma and intensity. It is mesmerising and draws an audience in.

Do you have any vices?

Chocolate. Heroin. I’m joking… I mean caffeine.

How do you feel about onscreen nudity?

I’ve never done it but I don’t have a problem with it. You have to be judicious. I’d feel more comfortable if the scene was not sexual or titillating, or I wasn’t supposed to look good. If I was naked, covered in mud and being stabbed to death I’d say “absolutely”. Drowning in a vat of honey totally naked – why not?

Do you feel pressure for body image?

I don’t really play those sort of parts. I like to look nice for myself.

Another film you’re in – Young Americans – sounds pretty hedonistic. Did you enjoy it?

That was fun, with Topher Grace and Anna Faris. I play a crazy Eighties Madonna wannabe. Crimped hair and bad costumes… And I snog about 87 guys! It all takes place at a party so, in a way, the continuous night shoots felt like one long party too!


2 Responses

  1. Daniel Gertsch Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    So what? Is this important? Why? Telling people what one does seems the cheap approach to borringness.
    Daniel

  2. thomas peterson Says:
    November 4th, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    daniel, dont you think there’s nothing more painful than self important, opinionated people who can’t spell?


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